How this works

What it is

A private place for the two of you: a weekly check-in, a log, plans, and other parts you can use or ignore.

• Everything is optional. Nothing here is required, and nothing counts streaks or scores you.
• Emails are off unless you turn them on in Settings. With them on, a reminder comes Thursday evening and Friday afternoon if you haven't submitted that week's check-in, and an email when you're tagged in something. None are sent while you've asked for space.
• You choose what shows. It starts with just the check-in and Space. Other parts stay off until you turn them on in What I see, and only you can see those choices. Parts you haven't turned on aren't even loaded onto your phone.
• Space lets you ask for room at any time.

What the other person sees

• Private entries are only yours. The app never shows them to the other person.
• Your check-in stays hidden until you've both submitted it.
• Shared things are what you choose to share: appreciations, the shared log, plans, a letter once it's in their box, and so on. Some can't be edited or deleted after they're shared (urges, honesty entries and promises, so the record can be trusted). The app tells you before you share one of those.
• The progress page shows the other person counts of what you've shared, like days logged or check-ins submitted. Never what you wrote, and never what you kept private.
• A few things show that you looked: opening a letter shows when you opened it, and marking their "When it's hard" plan as read shows that too. Acknowledging a boundary shows, because that's what it's for.
• Nothing else tracks you. There's no "last seen", no record of which pages you visit, no analytics and no location tracking.
• Alerts never carry content. When you share some things (telling first, a question or an answer, owning something), the other person may get an email or phone alert that only says something is waiting. You can turn your own emails and alerts off in Settings.

What Eric can see as the person who runs it

Eric built this app and runs it. He owns the database it's stored in, and he builds the app with AI tools (Claude) that can read that database. The app's own rules keep him from seeing your private entries, but through those admin tools, anything stored without the privacy lock could be read, including private entries, your check-in before you've both submitted, and files you upload.

The privacy lock (in Settings) closes most of that. It encrypts your private writing on your own device with a passphrase only you know, so nobody else can read it: not Eric, not Claude, not the companies that host the app. If you forget the passphrase, those entries can't be recovered.

With the lock on, these are encrypted: your check-in until you've both submitted, healing notes, vision, your daily log, ownership, letters, knowing you, date ideas, repairs, what would help, your "When it's hard" plan, proof details and quick notes.

The lock doesn't cover: uploaded files and photos, urges, honesty entries, promises, appreciations, your private list, the shared log, plans, agreements and comments. Keep anything you wouldn't want read out of those, or out of the app altogether.

Claude and the weekly summary

• Off unless you turn it on. A weekly summary by Claude is written only when both of you have turned it on in Settings. Only you see whether yours is on.
• Shared things only. It reads only what you both shared that week, and your check-in only after you've both submitted. Your ratings are included only if you've turned on showing your numbers. Private and locked entries are never sent.
• Where it runs. It goes to Claude, made by Anthropic, through Eric's Claude account on his computer.
• Drafts. Eric can have drafts written for his own entries. Nothing appears until he approves it, and none of it is written as you.

Where it's stored

• The app's services: the database, sign-in and files are hosted by Supabase, the website by Cloudflare, and emails are sent through Resend. Phone alerts go through Apple's or Google's push service and never include what anyone wrote.
• Backups: a backup is made each night to Eric's computer. Locked entries stay locked in it.
• On your phone: the app keeps its own files so it opens quickly, and keeps a copy of a check-in you're typing until it's saved. If you add something with no signal, it waits on your phone until it can send.

Leaving

Settings has Leave B&E Forever. It deletes your account and everything you wrote here, and removes you from older backups on the next nightly run. The database host may keep its own recovery copies for a short time. You can download a copy of what you can see first, from the bottom of any page.

If you ever feel unsafe, the Support page in the app lists confidential help, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.